Heart Fades to Black

Chapter 5: Resolving Marital Difficulties

---

Maybe I didn't sleep a wink that night, but between my anxiety and the wine I was damn sure not very aware of anything by morning. The pounding on the front door shook me out of my daze.

"Jack? Popuri? Is anyone home?"

Rick. Perfect way to start what was likely going to be simply a wonderful day. I slowly stood up - sending empty wine bottles crashing to the floor as I did - waited for the living room to stop spinning around me, then wobbled to the door to greet my beloved brother-in-law good morning. He was his usual charming, considerate self.

"Jack - man, you look terrible! And it smells like a distillery in here. Where is she?"

I forced some kind of slurred mumbling from my lips. "I dunno. Did she come home?" I looked over my shoulder at the still undisturbed bed in the bedroom. "Guess not. The Inn, I suppose. She's staying over with Ann and..."

He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me and the world started revolving around me again. "Get a hold of yourself, man! You let her stay overnight at the Inn? What's wrong with you?"

"Didn't have much of a choice, she was wild crazy yesterday. You know. Let Ann deal with it..."

"Come on Jack, snap out of it!" And he pulled me into the kitchen, stuck my head under the faucet and let the cold water run over my head for a few minutes. Well, soon enough I was back amongst the living - if you wanted to call having the mother of all hangovers living - and Rick steered me out the door and down farm row.

"Jack, I would have come over sooner, but I only heard about this thing this morning - stinking Manna was practically drooling as she told Ma the story. But Jack, why didn't you stop her from going?"

"And how did you used to stop her when she was screaming mad at you?"

He looked sheepish. "Well...uh...I just let her go off to the pond to cool off. But this is different! Staying under the same roof with Kai...Ann damn well better have been keeping a watch on her!

"One thing though - fine business slugging that motherfucker like that. I've wanted to do it for years! But why didn't you finish the job?"

"There was the little matter of that knife of his."

"Yeah, I suppose. Well, I still owe you a drink for that marvelous shot."

"Talk to my liver about that. When he's ready, I'll take you up on it. But where are we going, anyways?"

"The Inn, you fool! We're going to bring her home where she belongs - after we turn that bastard into a purple stain on the floor! Let's see how he deals with two on one."

"I don't know, Rick. Doug told me to let him handle it and..."

He actually spit with rage. "Doug! All that freakin' townie cares about is what's good and bad for his business." He started slamming his fist against his palm. "Come on Jack, are you a man or a wuss? Let's handle it ourselves the good old-fashioned way."

I might have let him talk me into a little more direct action contra Kai, but as we got to the door of the Inn we were stopped by Doug, Duke and Mayor Thomas coming out. Doug took one look at our faces and held up his palm.

"Whoa! Wait a minute. What do you two think you're doing?"

Rick and I exclaimed together. "Going to fetch my wife back home!" "Going to beat Kai to a bloody pulp!"

"The hell you say! You boys just simmer down right now! We're not going to have any killing trouble in this village..."

Duke broke in. "And anyways, there's no need for it. The matter is resolved."

Once again, Rick and I were on the same page. "Huh? How's that?"

And Mayor Thomas went on to explain. Now, as friendly and amiable as I'd always found him, I'd also always thought that Thomas was the most pompous, ineffectual fool I'd ever met. But that morning I discovered why the villagers kept him on as Mayor. He was actually a most accomplished diplomat. Guy made me, Mr. Libra himself, look like a rank amateur.

Way the three of them told it, they went up to Kai's room and Thomas just oozed syrup all over the sharp edges of our quarrel. Put it in terms of his self interest, of course - explained how the village would go bankrupt if I didn't work the farm well, 'which would mean that nobody could afford to give your establishment any custom' and that the 'difference of opinions here' was getting me too agitated to work. The bottom line he sold Kai was that 'perhaps you should close up and head back down south a little early this year. Let Jack and Popuri get settled in, and then we'll see about your coming back next summer.'

Kai had hemmed and hawed a bit, then allowed as perhaps it was a good time to call the season quits. Not that he had any other option with Duke and Doug standing silently by, playing the role of threatening heavies to the hilt. So the upshot was that come 5 that afternoon, Kai would be on that slow boat back to the mainland.

Rick was all smiles at this and headed back to Chicken Lil's whistling; but me - I was a little antsy still. This whole thing had been swinging back and forth so hard that I wasn't quite believing in so pat a solution. The wicked bad head I was sporting didn't improve my mood either. But just at that moment, I couldn't see anything else to do but to thank them for their help and consideration and hope for the best.

Thomas and Duke went on about their business as I wheedled Doug - standing in his door still - to let me in. "Come on Doug, lemme talk to my wife. I'm not even going to look at Kai. Just let me in for a sec." He kept putting me off with 'come back later, Jack' when I saw a flash of red hair over his shoulder.

"Hey Ann! Could ya come out here and talk to me for a bit? Please?"

She was out the door in a flash, trading looks with Doug and saying, "It's OK Dad, I've got it" until he shrugged and went back inside leaving Ann and I face to face.

"Jack, she's OK - she's still asleep. We had a nice long talk last night, she's all calmed down and she'll be home later today." She giggled. "Between Karen and now her, I hardly get to sleep in my own bed anymore.

"Jack, let's face it - she still does have some feelings for Kai. That's why she got so mad over you hitting him. She'll grow out of it real soon - especially after the baby comes. Just be patient with her, OK?"

"Sure. Thanks, Ann, you're a real pal. When she wakes up, tell her I've got no hard feelings and she'll get a good reception from me when she gets home. OK?"

I was about to turn and head back to Erehwon when a bleary-eyed Cliff eased out the door and gave a giggling Ann a big smooch.

"Thanks darlin', that was just what the doctor ordered."

"Don't mention it sweetie." She playfully batted his wandering hands away. "Hey, I've got work to do now. Jack, see ya later, OK?"

"Sure thing. Thanks again."

She went back in while Cliff and I stood around trading grins.

"Hey, hobo, get you! Got lucky last night, didja?"

He laughed. "Yeah - but not how you're thinking, Romeo. Damndest thing. Ann came up to my room yesterday evening carrying a bottle from Doug's private stock. She said it was our six-week anniversary - of what, I kind of disremember this morning - and she wanted to celebrate. We had a couple of drinks together, made out for awhile, then she excused herself and left the bottle with me. It's empty now!"

"Heh. Doug's private stock - you mean the 30-year old stuff? Guess you really rate around here now." Then while I was there, I figured I might as well check on things with the one person I really trusted. "Cliff, speaking of last night, you may or may not have heard that Popuri and I had a little tiff and she kinda...well...slept over with Ann. I hope. You been seeing anything odd going on around the Inn?"

"Sorry, buddy. The only thing pink I saw was pink elephants. I guess Ann put her right to bed before our little party. But I'll keep my eyes open." His yawning didn't inspire confidence in me on that count.

"'kay, I'll catch you later then - I'm way behind on the chores today. Don't drink anything I wouldn't, OK?"

"You find out what that is, you let me know."

So, as I made my way back to the farm my mood was up yet again. Come seventeen hundred hours we'd all be saying bon voyage to the purple pimple. I was spacey enough from lack of sleep so that I was having all kind of weird flashes - like imagining him being showered with rotten fruits left over from the Tomato Festival as the Princess pulled out.

Then I had a real paranoid flash - that little celebration of Ann's...it sounded nothing so much as if there was stuff going on at the Inn last night that she didn't want Cliff to see. Stuff that he'd have damn sure told me about if he'd have known - and Ann knew that. Once you start thinking suspiciously, it compounds on itself. I then had to ask myself what Popuri was still doing in bed at...gee, it was almost ten. She'd always gotten up with the chickens, just like me.

I shook the paranoia off. I was telling myself I was flaking out real bad and needed a good night's sleep. I mean...Ann was a simple, direct sort...she wouldn't think to pull something like that. Right? And after that little celebration...she and Ann, old pals that they were, just stayed up real late talking and that's why she was sleeping in. Right? I mean Ann wouldn't just flat out lie to me, would she?

Would she?

---

For me, there's always been one sure remedy for feeling lousy in body and/or spirit - losing myself in hard work. I launched right in on the day's chores feeling energetic at first, but you know, doing an alcoholic all-nighter in addition to all the stress of the previous 24 hours had really taken a toll on me. After a short time, I just couldn't keep my eyes open and after fighting it for a while, I decided that taking a brief nap amidst the weeds was the logical course.

Well, it was longer than 'brief.' When I opened my eyes again, it was late afternoon judging from the sun. I stood up, stretched, looked towards the house...and saw pink movement through the bedroom window. She was back! I ran up to the house, rehearsing in my mind all the sweet little nothings I was going to shower on her, burst through the door and into the bedroom to find - Popuri closing up a suitcase.

We just stood where we were and stared at each other for a while until I came up with a real original question.

"Pi, what are you doing?"

"Packing my things. I'm leaving you, Jack. I'm going to take the Princess out of here - and I'm going with Kai."

"But...what?...why? Look, Pi...don't be hasty here. Let's talk this over. Whatever the problem is, we can work it out together..."

She sighed. "No we can't. The 'problem' is real simple - I don't love you anymore. Kai is the true love of my life and always has been. It's just that I didn't understand that until yesterday."

"But we're married! We're making a life together! We're going to have a child together!"

"What kind of life are you making for us, Jack? Scratching a living out of the dirt, making nice to a bunch of stupid, boring people, having me working as the maid for two households? Pooh! That's not living - it's a living death! And the baby...I didn't ask for that. You gave it to me - look what you did to me! All I wanted was a little fun!

"Now, Kai - he knows fun. He makes his living off of fun. You know, he's got snack stands all over the country. There's not a place where people enjoy themselves that he doesn't know." She hugged herself giggling. "And he's going to take me to all of them!"

"When did all this start?"

She kept giggling. "It was so sudden! Yesterday I was so mad at you for hitting him. I really was going to just stay in Ann's room, but I also wanted to apologize to him about your behavior. Ann's such a sweetie, she just told me, 'go, there's no harm in talking to him.' Well, one thing led to another and..." her eyes twinkled "...you know. He told me that he'd always intended to take me off with him this year and married with child or not, he still wanted me. Well, I want him too."

"Pi, get a hold of yourself. OK, you slipped up with him once..."

She laughingly interrupted. "It was a lot more than once!"

"...you slipped up with him. But you can't just throw away this marriage. Pi, I love you so much. Just give me a chance - I'll be nice to you and you'll stop hating me."

Her look turned pitying. "Oh, Jack, I don't hate you. In fact, I think you're a sweet boy - so nice, so eager to please - and so naïve! But I don't need a farmer boy - I need a traveling man like Kai."

"What's he got that I don't? Tell me I didn't make you happy every night we've been together. Come on, Pi, forget about all this nonsense and I'll make you happy right now."

"Jack, Jack, you think that's all there is to being together? I'll give you this much, you are really good in bed. I wasn't faking any of that." She wrinkled her nose. "But so are a lot of other men, for what that's worth."

"H...how many others?"

She laughed. "Oh, a girl has to have her little secrets, you know! But don't worry, the baby really is yours. At that time I was only with you."

And for the second time in 24 hours, I lost it. I literally saw red (yes, it's not just a figure of speech) and once again found myself threatening someone with a farm tool - this time, the axe - and shouting in rage.

"Popuri, you are not leaving me! You are not taking my child away! I won't let you get away with this!"

Again the pitying look. "Oh Jack, don't be foolish. I know you don't have the heart to kill me. Why if you did, you'd be so devastated with guilt that you'd kill yourself right afterwards." She smiled sweetly. "Besides, if you kill me, then you also kill our child. And you know how much you love it. So stop being a silly and put that thing away."

She was right. I couldn't do it. As my rage faded away, I went limp with defeat, dropping the axe and slumping into a chair.

"That's right, Jack. Oh, don't look so blue - you'll find plenty of stuff in this village to fill your life. You love it all so much. I bet after a few days, you'll hardly notice that I'm gone.

"And the baby...don't worry, it'll be well cared for. Kai's got money. And if we run short, well surely you'll want to help support your own child, right? And I promise to send you a picture when the baby's born - a father should know what his child looks like, right?"

I just stared blankly at her as she picked up her suitcase.

"Well Jack, it's been so much fun talking with you, but I've got to go now. I've got a boat to catch! I hope you have a wonderful life on the farm, I really do. As for me, I'm going to go places and see things! Bye-bye, lover!"

And I still sat there blankly, watching my beautiful bride, the mother of my child, my sex goddess walk out the door and out of my life forever.

Dear gentle reader, perhaps at this point you are pounding the table with frustration, shouting, "Why, Jack, why did you just let her go?!"

And you're absolutely right; I could have stopped her. I could have held her until the Princess left, then I could have instructed Zack and Captain Willowbee not to let her board in the future without checking with me first. Then, the whole thing with Kai might have faded away in her mind - after all, he'd never be able to set foot in the village again.

Well, I could give you all kind of excuses why I did nothing. I could say that I was giving her an exceptionally long leash - letting her get traveling and Kai out of her system before she came back home for good. I could say that it was a higher form of love - letting her chase her dreams even if it meant losing her. I could even say that after finding out that she was - well, a whore - I'd concluded I'd be better off without her.

But all of those reasons would be excuses. The actual reason I just sat there...well, Karen had called it right in one of her muttered asides. I was a wimp. It was just that simple. As much as I loved her, lusted for her and wanted our child alongside me - I just couldn't take her ways anymore! I was sick to death of her shrieking and snapping and whining about every little thing. Maybe I'd be sleeping in a cold empty bed from then on - but at least it would be a quiet one! It was so much easier to just let her go. But underlying all of that was that sense of total defeat. I thought I'd finally been gathering a family around myself, something I'd wanted more than anything else, and now it was gone forever.

My mind wasn't anything as orderly as this at the time, of course. Jumbled bits of feelings and thoughts rattled and rolled around in my head as I buried my face in my hands. And I couldn't tell you anything about the rest of that day.

---

Like any other morning on Erehwon, the roosters gave me their zero six hundred wakeup call. I rolled over in bed to hug Popuri and start in on our morning 'exercises'...and then I remembered. So instead I just got out of bed and revived my old bachelor habits - called Wowser in and kept him planted firmly on my lap as I munched an apple and watched Life on the Farm. She'd always laughed at me for my devotion to that program. 'Jack, it's a children's show!' 'But Pi, I learn so much...' Damn it, stop thinking about her!

I looked at the calendar and my 'to-do' list tacked up next to it, figuring out the day's activities. Hm...Summer 28...that means that we were married for 16 days. Not a world's record for brevity, but an honorable mention... Damn it, stop thinking about her!

Out in the chicken coop, going through that rhythm of filling my backpack with feed, then measuring it out into each feeding station, then gathering eggs, crating them up and laying them in the shipping bin. I had to break habit when I reminded myself to examine and rotate the eggs in the incubator. That job I'd always left to her...one of the few things she was better at than I and... Damn it, stop thinking about her!

And so the rest of the morning went.

Later in the morning I dragged myself into Chicken Lil's sort of figuring I should be with the nearest I had to a family. Of course, Lil was laid up in bed from shock and shame, but Rick was being his usual gritty, practical self. When I went in the door, I saw that he actually did own a shotgun - at least two of them, in fact - he had them out on the kitchen table and was cleaning them. When he saw me come in the door, he didn't waste any breath on meaningless consolation. He fixed me with a level gaze.

"Jack, what do you say that we catch the Princess to the mainland this afternoon. We'll track down that son of a bitch together and give him what he's got coming. Then we'll bring her back home.

"Too bad we can't give her what she's got coming also. In the old days, they'd have whipped her in the middle of Rose Square for pulling a stunt like this."

I won't deny that I was really tempted by the thought of hunting Kai down and giving his GI system a hot lead flushout. But practical men that we both were, as we discussed strategies and techniques of mayhem, we both knew we were just outgassing to try and relieve the pressure. Finally, Rick grumped at me that, 'maybe we should start our hunting trip later this week. Ma's real sick and I can't rightly leave her alone today.' I agreed and suggested we plan it out the next morning. Of course, we never got around to it.

---

Not many people dropped in to Erehwon that day. I wasn't really expecting them to. Visiting someone who's had a death or sickness in the family is routine and accepted and everyone more or less knows how to do it. But what do you say to someone who just got abandoned by their pregnant wife? I had no idea and I guess they didn't either. But in late afternoon, I did have a visitor. Karen came in the gate while I was trying to forget myself in the never-ending weeding. She didn't waste much effort on empty words, either.

"Jack..."

"OK Karen, what is it? You came here to tell me you were right about her all along? Come to rub my nose in it?" I spread out my arms in surrender. "Well, go ahead! Give me your best shot!"

She looked pained. "Jack, I thought you knew me better than that. You just took one of the hardest hits a person can take and you think I'd taunt you about it?" She gave that thin crooked smile of hers. "Actually, I came to offer you some comfort and consolation - the tried tested and true Karen way."

"And what might that be?"

"It's about six. I propose that you and I head down to the Inn and proceed to get blind, stinking, rip-roaring, falling down drunk together. I'm buying."

I examined her proposition up and down and could find no fault in it.

"Lead the way, kind lady."

"Follow me, gentle sir."

We got to the Inn right at the stroke of six, bellied up to the bar together and proceeded to make a truly heroic effort to drink up Doug's entire stock. I know he had to break open a new cask of grape liquor that evening - if he had to get out another after that, I couldn't tell you as my powers of observation faded steadily as the night progressed. Later on, I even got into his much-neglected screwdrivers, and you know, I thought they were pretty damned good. Then again, by that time I was blitzed enough to think that hydrazine straight up would have been pretty damned good also.

Came midnight, Doug gently but firmly expelled us from the Inn. Karen and I reeled around Rose Square arm in arm for a while, singing stupid love songs at the top of our voices and generally acting like the drunken asses that we were. Our voices were of course badly slurred. You can take that as a given, so I won't bother writing it that way.

"Whee, Karen, ain't we got fun! Y'know, wives may come and wives may go, but ol' Ethyl never lets you down."

"Ethyl? Who's that?"

"Ms. Ethyl Alcohol - patroness of the lovelorn and rejected."

"She's a cruel mistress, Jack. She'll leave you in the ditch the next morning with an empty wallet and a bad head. Take it from me, I've been there."

"Tomorrow? Ah! That's just another day. Whadda want to do now? What do likkered-up fools do here anyways? Go throw cowpies at Duke's mansion? Carry Ellen through the streets on our backs?"

"Random public deviltry? Nah, not here. Just take me home now."

"Rog-o. Next stop, Mineral Village's super-duper retail emporium!"

"No, you drunken retard! Not my home. Take me to Erehwon."

I goggled at her. "What do you want to go there for?"

"I want to spend the night with you. It's the other part of the comfort and consolation. Don't tell me you don't need it."

I looked at her cockeyed - well I guess I was already cockeyed so it probably came out straight. "Kinda make you an accessory to adultery, wouldn't it?"

She got off a short, sharp Anglo-Saxonism. "And what do you think she's doing right now? Jack, I'm not going to beg you. Either take me home and screw me or go home alone and screw yourself. Your call."

Once again I examined one of her propositions forwards and backwards and found no fault with it.

"Rog-o. Next stop, Mineral Village's premier love shack."

"Always thought you were a smart guy."

So we continued reeling arm in arm up farm row and into the gates of Erehwon. We lurched in the door and on to the bedroom, clumsily divested each other of our clothes, flopped into bed, performed the usual acts with the usual results and fell asleep in each other's arms.

---

I guess I was already habituated to the farm life because drunken debauchery or no, I was still up with the chickens at zero-six hundred hours. I untangled myself from Karen's hold as gently as I could and wobbled into the kitchen to make us a breakfast bland enough not to do further violence to our already abused innards. A few minutes later, a half dressed Karen stuck her head out of the bedroom.

"Jack, where's my bra?"

"Uh...I aimed it at my wedding picture. If I overshot, it's behind that table."

"Right, I'll go fish it out."

She came out again a couple of minutes later fully dressed and looked at the spread of fruits, juice and toast I had laid out on the table.

"God Jack, you're disgustingly energetic." I motioned for her to sit and she did so, helping herself to a child's portion. I sat beside her and started wolfing down a workingman's helping.

"Disgustingly good appetite too."

I spoke in between bites of toast. "Well...y'know in this life, no matter what happens, the animals still get hungry and the crops still wilt. Gotta get charged up for the day's work. Why I'm doing it now, I don't know. Habit I guess."

She talked around mouthfuls of melon. "Yeah, well. Thanks for this breakfast - on my hangover mornings Mom always fixes me a heaping plate of fried eggs. She means well, but yuck! They don't sit well on a pickled stomach."

"Heh. I can go get you some eggs if you're missing 'em. But seriously - now I consider myself comforted and consoled. Thanks, Karen."

She gave me what was for her a pretty gentle look. "You're welcome. I figured we both needed it. Let each of us know that someone still has some use for us."

"Yeah...talk about use. Judging from my admittedly impaired memory and..." I rubbed the deep scratches on my back "...the physical evidence, looks like you got a little frantic there."

"Look who's talking! Those bite marks just I found on me..." she glared at me "...and the places I found them!" and I blushed while she laughed. "Now I know that church boy routine of yours is just an act."

"Yeah, well - I guess we both got a little wild. You know, it'd be a hell of a note if I knocked you up too."

She laughed again. "Don't worry about that - wrong time for me, and I'm real regular. Rick and I went by the phases of the moon for years and got away clean."

"You say so...ah...please don't take this the wrong way - gosh knows I like you about as much as I've liked any woman my age - but, uh, we're not going to make a habit of this kind of thing, are we?"

"I suppose not. But we had to do it just once. For me, it was more than consolation - it was unfinished business."

"How's that?"

"Jack, I really like you a lot too. Did from the first time we met - remember me dressing down Duke at the store! In the middle there, we sorta got messed up with that garbage with Mary and Popuri and Rick, but underneath it all I still liked you a hell of a lot and...oh damn, I'm evading the issue." She looked me right in the eyes. "I'm not too proud to say it. Jack, I love you."

And so she did, in her own way. "And I love you too Karen." I grimaced. "Not that it's a lot of help to either of us now. If we tried it, I suspect it'd just be poisoned from the start."

"You're still in love with her, then?"

"Something fierce. I mean, I know what she is now and I know it's over, but a part of me still hopes she'll return to her senses and come back. I suppose she'll file for divorce sooner or later. I know I don't have the heart to do it." I spoke ironically. "To make a completely original observation, life is sure funny."

"You don't see me laughing, do you?"

"Well it is and you should be. Lookit...suppose, for example, that the night of the Goddess festival, you'd come to the beach a little earlier. You'd have broken us up while we were still just making out. Then, I don't think I ever would have done her - as much as she turned me on, I did have the will power to resist it when I wasn't trashed. Then we would have just drifted along until Kai came back and got her. Then what would have happened? Would you have still been pushing Mary and I together so hard?"

"I guess I would have been. I was in denial about my feelings for you - because of Rick and I was also denying myself for her sake. What a horrible tangle! How could anything good have ever come out of all that?"

"Would have taken some supernatural intervention, I suspect." I quoted.

Then she completed it.

She answered my wondering look. "Mary and I read a lot of poetry together during those long depressive conversations at the library. We came back to T. S. Eliot often. He was a very depressed and disillusioned man, wasn't he?"

"At the time. I understand that later he found God. I'm sure it was good for him, but his poetry was never the same after. Well, let's break up this mood. What are you going to do now, Karen?"

"I don't know. I keep thinking about following Mary's example and leaving this place. There's not much left for me here. Rick and I aren't going to get back together and you know, I don't think I'd want to now even if he did. Mary's gone and if she has any sense, she'll never come back. Maybe she'll end up editing some literary magazine or just hide out working in a big city library for the rest of her life. I just hope every now and then she finds someone kind and gentle to get her through the really rough nights. All that's left is my folks...and, yeah, we still love each other but we're also drifting apart. And if we're not going to try being together...maybe I just will go off to the city and try to make a new start."

"Don't want to be discouraging, but it's a lousy time to do that. There's that little matter of the depression, you know."

"Yeah, don't know what I'd do there anyhow. I've given up on my dreams of taking up ballet."

"Why? You really are a good dancer."

"Ha! Listen to the techie talking rubbish about the arts. Really and truly - I'm too old for it. Yeah, I know I'm 24, but in that world, that's old. If you aren't well underway in your teens, you just aren't going to make it to the top. And I'm too proud to settle for some minor troupe in nowheresville. Nah, I missed my chance - next life, maybe." She giggled. "I couldn't even make it as an exotic dancer, skinny as I am.

"Well, I've always been good with figures and money - maybe I'll study for my CPA by correspondence. Something to keep me busy waiting for some opportunities to knock, then I can go off and get some job somewhere." She put on a brave look. "Imagine that - I was going to dazzle the whole world under the spotlights, have billionaires and kings worshiping at my feet, and I'm going to end up keeping the books for some shady insurance broker somewhere. And how about you, Jack? You were hoping to go way up there someday and help build a shiny new world from scratch, and you ended up with the family farm. You going to stay here?"

"I'm in the same corner you are - not much choice. The few engineering jobs left all have guys parked on them and the only way they're going to leave is by being carried out in a box. Then there'll be a thousand guys like me standing in line to take their place." I shrugged. "This farm isn't bad, I can hack it. If everything I see would just stop reminding me of Popuri, I'd be OK."

"Jack, I'm not going to harp on it - but are you really sure about us not trying it together? We do get along real well, you know."

I joshed. "Getting mixed up with a married man? Where's the future in that? Think of your reputation!"

"What reputation? It's pretty well shot now - between being the sad-sack girl who can't keep a boyfriend and being the town drunk. And with my luck, someone will see me coming out of here and then I'll be the town slut." She shrugged. "Not that I give a damn anymore what anyone here thinks."

"I'll tell 'em you were making a delivery. Besides, you know what they say about Libra and Scorpio couplings. Be a question of which one of us kills the other first."

"Nah, be more like my folks. We'd fight like cats and dogs, then make up under hot sheets."

"Well...let's do this. Just go along as friends like in the old days - before all this happened. Give me some time to try and get over her, then we'll see. Who knows, maybe I'll get up the guts to sue for that divorce and then I'll be free. Only thing is...my child. I'll never see him or her."

She put her hand on my shoulder looking as if she were holding back tears. "Oh God, I forgot about that. That's what you were looking forward to the most, wasn't it?" I nodded. "What a rotten thing she did to you, Jack."

I squeezed her hand. "Yeah, well...you know, I hear the chickens making a pretty intense racket out there. I'd better get started on the morning's work. You want me to take you home?"

"No, I know the way. Don't know what I'll tell my folks. Maybe ask Ann to cover for me or maybe just tell them the truth. What does it matter?"

We got up and went out to the front step together, and Karen's luck was indeed holding true to form because there was Manna, passing by the front gate. She stopped and just stared at us in surprise.

"Well, Jack - looks like she just won the gossip sweepstakes for this year. It'll be all over town before noon." She got that twisted smile on her face. "In for a dime, in for a dollar - let's give her something to really gossip about." And before I knew it, she had me in a melting embrace and was giving me the kind of kiss that shouldn't be given except behind closed doors and next to a ready bed. She broke off with a touch on the cheek and a 'love ya' and bounced off through the gate, saying to Manna in passing, "Hello, Manna! Isn't it just a lovely morning!" For the first time I'd ever seen, Manna didn't have a word to say in reply. I tipped my hat to her, and then went off to the coop to see what had the hens so agitated. Just another day of life on the farm.