Heart Fades to Black
Chapter 3: A Joyful Union, A Blessed Event
As the spring progressed, I got used to my new country life faster than you - or I - would have thought, given my background. Farming turned out not to be a hard trade (or craft, or art, or whatever you call it) to master. I educated myself from the journals of my ancestors, and from the Life on the Farm show. Any information I needed that I couldn't get from those sources, the library provided. Not, of course, that I ever set foot in that place. I didn't want to give Mary any more fuel for her obsessions than she already had. Here, Ann was most helpful. I'd tell her what I needed to know, and then she'd go to the library, copy it down and bring it to me. Likely, this procedure didn't fool Mary - it was hard to imagine that she believed that Ann had suddenly become interested in the minutia of local agriculture and botany. But it preserved appearances. Appearances are very important, you know. Especially in a little town still mostly living in the past.
Popuri and I were careful to preserve appearances. To almost everyone in the village, we seemed to be just a typical young couple in love. I think we were a pretty couple also - I noticed that the older town women would often get that 'Oh, they're so sweet!' look on their faces when they saw us together. Of course, when they saw us together, we were just holding hands and chatting about innocuous matters. We were very careful about that. They never saw the other stuff.
The other stuff...well...in a small town like Mineral Village, surrounded by farmlands and wilderness, there are always plenty of secluded places just right for a lover's tryst. That spring, we must have found them all. Sky clad passion amidst the beauties of nature - sounds idyllic, right? Well, I suppose it was. At the time, we weren't being reflective about the wider tableau we were a part of. We were far too intent on enjoying each other's bodies. But what else could you expect out of a twenty-something couple?
Apart from that, Popuri and I were getting to know each other pretty well. Like these things so often develop, however exploitative the relationship may have been at the start, I was getting kind of fond of her. I was already familiar - oh, how I was familiar - with her silly and flakey side. But there was more to her than that.
She was very devoted to her mother. At first glance, you wouldn't think it. Her almost continuous - and very loud - quarrels with her brother kept Lillia's nerves on edge. That wasn't what made her ill; the doctor admitted, in a manner more depressed than his usually merely glum demeanor, that he hadn't the slightest idea what was wrong with her but that stress was not the cause. The arguments didn't help, though. Nine times out of ten when I heard Popuri shrieking in the distance while I did the morning chores, when I got over there, Lillia would be laid up in bed.
She never quarreled with her mother, though. She merely paid little attention to anything Lillia said. I tried reasoning with her to take it easier with her folks, the only result being that she got cross with me.
"Look Jack, Rick and Ma are always trying to run my life down to the last detail, so don't you start it also! Rick I can talk back to. I can't shout at Ma because she's sick and...well, she's Ma. But I don't have to listen to her! Can't anyone figure out that I'm 21 and I can decide things for myself!"
I folded my arms and observed, "Thought you were still 20."
Her face got red and she stomped off going, "You're impossible today! Pooh! I'm going to the beach by myself and don't you follow me!"
Of course we made up later - her temper always blew over as fast as it came - but things like that showed how touchy she was about not being taken seriously.
But I said she was devoted to her mother, and she really was - in her own way. She took care of her, doing the heavy housework, and all the rest of it on Lillia's bedridden days, without the least complaint. She also did most of the cooking, and most excellent cooking indeed - mostly in the heavy, hearty country style that farm families have been enjoying for millennia. I was taking more and more of my meals there as I was increasingly being accepted by the whole family as Popuri's (apparently) serious suitor. Her domesticity impressed me, and her modesty about it impressed me even more.
"Sheesh, Popuri - you fixed that awesome dinner after beating out all the carpets? You work as hard as Rick and I do."
"Well, who else is going to fix dinner? Rick can't even boil water without burning it. And the carpets - that's woman's work. I was getting grossed out seeing Ma's feet getting dirty from them, that's all."
Right after I decided that seeing Popuri on a regular basis was a good thing, I also decided that I'd be smart to try and make nice with her folks. It turned out that getting them to like me was a piece of cake. I'd drop in at least once a day, usually bringing fresh vegetables, and chat for a few minutes before getting back to work. Doing this regularly made the impression on them I desired - that I always showed Popuri the greatest respect when we were around them only helped - then after awhile I was amused to notice the impression they made on me. Once again, calculated actions on my part turned into genuine affection and I came to sincerely like both Rick and Lillia.
Lillia was easy to like. 'Beautiful person' is a phrase often badly misused to describe public figures and celebrities who outwardly possess style but who are in fact rather small and mean creatures. Lillia was truly a beautiful person. There was a simple sweetness in her that wasn't pretense in the least. Her illness and her husband's absence made her blue, but did not embitter her. She was a firm believer in looking for the positive in everything, then adding whatever she could to it. For instance, she repaid the little attentions I showed her with cheery stories about my grandfather and the village in general in earlier days. Surprisingly, I found I was quite interested in these matters, and as she was an excellent storyteller, our visits quickly expanded from a couple of polite minutes to a completely absorbed hour or two almost every day.
I found out from her that her family went back there almost as far as mine did, and we'd been closely allied from the beginning. The social structure of the village was the classic town/country division and our two families had always been the core of the country faction. Such a rivalry made no sense, of course. In a place like that, the town was nothing without us farmers and we farmers would be reduced to pre-historic sustenance conditions without the support of the town. But I already knew that people's attitudes were often irrational and you just had to live with it - and I was a confirmed believer in going with the flow. I suppose a good half of the respect I got came from my being friendly with the 'townies' but not so friendly that the other farmers saw me as a sellout. It's part of going with the flow - if you see opposing groups, stand in the middle and try to make nice with both of them. If it works, good things pour in to you from both sides. Of course if it doesn't work, you learn the meaning of the old saying, "blessed be the peacemakers because they catch hell from both sides."
So in a way I was recapitulating my grandfather's life here - difference being he had sort of adopted Lil and her husband as surrogate children, while Lil and Rick were sort of adopting me as a surrogate son/brother. Both, of course, hoping that Popuri and I would make it real in due course. In one of our family history talks, though, Lil almost aborted that project. When she realized that I didn't know my family tree too well, she just came out pretty as you please with the fact she was my aunt and Rick and Popuri were my second cousins. Well, inwardly I freaked out at that and managed not to blow up only out of respect to Lil (it was one of her bedridden days.)
"Cousins? Doesn't that sort of rule out any possibility of marriage?"
"Not at all. Second cousin marriages are both permitted and acceptable here. There have already been plenty between us. Last was...oh let me see...Jacob on our side and Eliza on yours about...ah...hundred ten years ago." She giggled. "We're past due to entwine our vines a little more!"
After that, I was pretty gronky for a while thinking that I'd been doing a relative. But I soon enough shrugged it off figuring that I was after all doing the rustic thing and 'kissing cousins' was just a part of it. In fact, once I accepted it, it made the next tryst with her that much more naughty and spicy in my mind.
Rick was a little harder to take. Guy was edgy and a worrier and it made me nervous listening to him go on and on about what might go wrong with his folks and the farm. I'll bet if I'd told him how many killer asteroids there were that might crash into Earth and wipe us all out, he'd have started worrying about that too. Yeah, he was that kind of guy. But when I figured out what made him tick and then how to manipulate him, he got easier to deal with.
He was simple enough - an honest to God born and bred farmer. It's all he wanted to do - he'd never considered doing anything else with his life and he'd be happy to stay with it right up to the day when they put him in a box. His problem was simply that he'd had to take on too much too soon. In the natural course of things, he'd be assisting his father in running the farm, a healthy Lillia would be riding herd over his troublesome sister and all would be right with his world.
But with Lil too sick to do much and with his father away indefinitely looking for a cure for her, the whole smack was on his shoulders - placed firmly there shortly after he'd turned 21 and there was no way out for him. He really and truly gave it everything he had but it wasn't quite enough. The farm appeared to be a thriving concern but if you looked closely you could see little touches of neglect and decay - things that needed doing and he was going to get around to them 'when I've got some slack time.' Which he never had.
Once I saw where he was at, I offered to pitch in a little and he was sure grateful to me for that. I didn't know squat about tending poultry, but house and equipment repairs were along the lines of what I'd been doing before in the world - only a hell of a lot easier than building high reliability rocket engines. After I fixed the flakey electric wiring in the second floor of their house in a single afternoon, he started regarding me with a sense of awe. Add to that the fact that my visits with Lil always bucked her up and made her better for the rest of the day and soon enough Rick was getting downright chummy with me.
He was very, very happy that I was seeing Popuri - well, he didn't know how thoroughly I was seeing her. Again, a lot of my being nice to him started out as trying to keep him from getting suspicious as to the exact nature of my relationship with Popuri. When it came to his sister and men, he was extremely protective and suspicious. He hated her old boyfriend, Kai, with a passion.
"Man, the way she was carrying on with him last summer had me going crazy! Every time I turned my back, she was down at the beach with him. I had to drag her back here every evening screaming and crying. She's just too damn innocent is what it is - had no idea what that rat really wanted her for."
I needed every bit of my self-control to keep from laughing out loud.
"Kept trying to get the men together to get that shack of his closed down and his butt kicked back to the mainland. Ah, but the women stopped it! They all love him - kept telling us it wouldn't really be summer here without him. As if this town just wouldn't be complete without a meat-headed beach boy! Women!"
After his final quarrel with Karen after the Goddess festival, he swore up and down that he was 'absolutely, positively' finished with her. Listening to him go on about her was another annoyance I swallowed in the interest of my 'good neighbors policy.' They'd been more or less a number ever since they were little kids and from the way he talked I thought that he'd been doing her ever since they were old enough, though he never got explicit on that score. He could get all happy-nostalgic about her in 'the old days.' According to him, the trouble started shortly after his father left him holding the bag on the farm. Since that happened right about when they both turned 21, she had started after him to get married and he didn't want to take that on in addition to all his other responsibilities. As time went on, she got more impatient and angrier about it, and her drinking starting getting pretty ugly - according to him, she'd been boozing since she was a teen but back then she'd been all silly fun when she got loaded.
My friendship with Rick wasn't all policy, then. I really did feel sorry for the guy. And when I started keeping a few chickens, he cut me some good deals and gave me a lot of good advice.
When you really, really look at them, people always have their odd sides. Considering her enthusiasm for lovemaking without benefit of clergy, Popuri was astonishingly conservative in matters of manners and morays - at least public ones. She was the kind of girl who would throw down a magazine displaying the latest thing in daring swimsuits and exclaim, "That's disgusting! Those girls showing themselves in public like that. They're just asking to get raped!" It wasn't jealousy on her part either - she would have looked stunning in any of them - it was that she genuinely didn't like open immodesty. Thus her taste for ankle-length dresses and her avoidance of makeup. Her attitude was that you could do pretty much as you pleased in private as long as it didn't affect anyone else - but in public, people should be correct and proper - straight-laced, even. She didn't even like to kiss when other people might see us. "Good girls don't do that, you know."
We continued to go to church together every Sunday - it was a lifelong habit for both of us and we saw no reason to change. Pastor Carter's sermons were always interesting, even if he sometimes hinted at heterodox beliefs. And out of policy, I really got into the casual socializing after the service was over. I made quite an impression on the townsfolk then. Earnest hardworking young man showing up at church every week together with his sweetie, it's things like that that build up your social standing in a small town. And if our activities afterwards weren't so pious - well, tell me we were the only couple in history in the habit of taking the long way home after Sunday meeting.
Another thing I found out soon enough was that if you were friends with Popuri, then Ann came along with the package. They were another pair of lifelong close friends, and if they were not quite as odd a pair as Karen and Mary were, it took me a little while to figure out the bond between them. It turned out that Ann had assumed the role of Popuri's surrogate big sister early on, and she was the only person in the village who had any success in keeping her flakiness under control. The first time I heard Ann bossing Popuri around - it was her ordering Popuri to wash out the raw egg and honey she'd rubbed into her hair (she thought it made it shiny) - I cringed in anticipation of the explosion...which never happened. Popuri just meekly went off and washed her hair!
Right after I saw that, I thought it would be a good thing to learn Ann's techniques. But although I memorized the words, I never quite got the music right. My attempts to exercise a little manly control over her just resulted in things like, "And just who do you think you are telling me to shave my legs! Nobody sees them except you and me and you don't have to put up with the itching! Get used to it!" Followed by another round of her stomping away necessitating much baby talking and hair stroking later on. I finally gave up on the caveman approach - manipulating and sweet-talking her saved so much wear and tear on the ears.
So, it soon developed that I had my own little circle of close friends - that Cliff and Ann were becoming a number insured that the four of us spent a lot of our free time together. No question but that Cliff was my very best friend in the village - this bond, at least, was genuine on my part. Another odd couple, you say - him the 'devil may care' rakish type and me the serious and kind of square fellow - but again, opposites attracted as we each showed each other a perspective on life the other may have missed.
He was the only person who I could totally open up to about Popuri, and I greatly valued his advice on how to deal with her - drawn from the store of knowledge he'd gained from literally scores of liaisons, "I've known ten thousand people all right, and I bet I've scored with a couple hundred broads - something like that, I've lost count over the years." My relationship with Popuri amused him greatly, "No one in this world wilder than a boy scout who's decided to cut loose!" and although his pet name for me in public was still 'farmer-boy', when we were by ourselves it was 'Romeo'. When I tended towards excessive gravity about her, I could count on him doing something like giving me that Cliffish leer and inquiring,
"One thing I just got to know, Romeo. Is her hair really pink?"
"Either that or she's real thorough in dyeing it."
And we'd be rolling on the ground laughing our butts off. OK, we got into a lot of juvenile stuff like that but what the hell, what are friends for. Whoever said that boys ever grow all the way up anyways?
Cliff and Ann were quite the couple at the time. He was pretty amused at himself getting so soft on one girl and one only. "Who can analyze these things, Romeo? It's just that every thing about her is just right." He was so confidant with his ability with women that he didn't mind admitting his occasional failures. "No action with Ann yet. She's got them legs firmly crossed, holding out for that ring - oh, right, it's a blue feather here. Well, supposing I just give it to her one day. Could do a lot worse than hiding out in this place until the hard times blow over." He gave a cynical laugh. "And then - well, whoever really believes that 'forever' really means 'forever!'"
So the four of us made a pretty tight circle of friends. Soon enough, Ann and Cliff were joining us for dinner at Chicken Lil's. Rick never took a dislike to Cliff, but never really appreciated him either. He thought him too frivolous. At least us three guys had one thing in common - a love of wine. We quickly got in the habit of leaving the womenfolk back in the house after dinner and sitting outside polishing off a bottle - or two - together. Occasionally, I missed the stimulation of being with other techies, comparing notes on the latest cutting edge machines. But being with those guys was OK. We stayed mellow and got along all right.
After the interview with Mary, we didn't speak again. I actively avoided places where she might be, and as she kept a regular schedule it wasn't hard.
Karen and I, if not actively hostile, were not on very good terms either. Shortly after that meeting at the Inn, Karen did follow me out from the store, and stated blankly to me, "If you've been trying to go to the library recently and you're wondering why it's been closed, it's because Mary's been at home under sedation for a week now."
She turned away and went back into the store without waiting for a response from me. She hadn't given any opinion or judgment. She hadn't needed to. I understood her facial expression and tone of voice perfectly.
Of course I wasn't happy that Mary was so miserable over Popuri and I, but I didn't see anything I could do about it other than stay clear of her. If I occasionally thought about what her and I together might be like, I quickly dropped the train of thought as unprofitable. I figured that the last thing I needed was to get mixed up with an emotionally unstable woman. Eventually I heard that she had recovered sufficiently from her breakdown to resume her work at the library.
About the only people who went in there to visit her were Grey and Karen. I was hoping that she and Grey would get together - she deserved some kind of break - but the way I heard it, she always treated him in a remote, detached manner and eventually he gave it up and just went to the library to read. Karen was a more welcome visitor. Depressed as she was about her breakup with Rick, she had given up her old habits of wandering the village and good-naturedly inserting herself into everyone's affairs. Now, she spent hours in the library, lost in interminable spinsterish conversations with Mary about hopelessly broken relationships. It didn't sound healthy to me, but what could I do?
Mary's heartbreak did make things a little twitchy for me socially. Anna blamed me fully for it all - as if her daughter's attitude had nothing at all to do with it - and she hated me with a passion. On one of the rare occasions I spoke with Karen, I found out just how bad it was.
"Ah, maybe you've been catching wind of Anna's little campaign against you?"
"No. What's she up to?"
"She's trying to get up enough people to hold another town meeting. She wants them to take Erehwon back from you and then boot you out of the village."
She snickered a little at the panic on my face and went on, "Don't have a stroke, Jack, because it's not going to happen. Whatever some people here may think of you, they're devilish anxious that you get that farm bringing in the big money again." She went on sneeringly, "Why, without Erehwon's usual income, they might actually have to start working hard for a change to keep their beautiful, pastoral village the way they're used to. So don't sweat it, only way you could get kicked out of here is if you're a bad farmer. And I'll give you this much, you work hard and you learn quick."
I sort of regretted the coolness between Karen and I. I sometimes thought back to my first week in the village as to how we had just hit it off naturally and got a little blue thinking that had things been different, we could have ended up as the very best of friends.
So as I came to the end of spring - my first season in Mineral Village - life definitely looked much better than at the beginning of the year. I had a handle on operating and working the farm, the work was making me pretty healthy and energetic, I had a good circle of friends and respect from most of the other villagers and Popuri's charms completed what was turning out to be a pretty good life.
I got a little bit of uneasiness from the return of Kai, Popuri's old flame. I was kind of hoping that somehow the word would get to him that he and Popuri were no longer 'go' and then he'd find some other place to spend the summer. But no, on the last day of spring there he was, disembarking from the Princess. Even more surprising was that he waltzed right up to my front gate, pretty as you please, and introduced himself. Guy was fit looking, well tanned and wore a definite swagger under that bandanna, Hang Ten shirt and baggy pants. I pegged him right away as a typical jock, sub-species 'cool surfer dude'. Kind of fellow I've always been excessively neutral about. So right away, behind my correct and civil manner and his party-hearty attitude, we were kind of sizing each other up.
"Hey there, my name's Kai. You're new here aren't you? What happened to the old man?"
"My grandfather died the end of last year. My name's Jack and I'm taking over Erehwon for him."
"Sorry to hear that. I liked the old guy - he grew awesome corn and always cut me square deals. So you're Jack. I've heard about you - rocket scientist from Liberty City, right? That's a wild town! You really going to stay here? It must bite after how you'd been jamming before."
"I like it here. It's a good life. Work agrees with me and the people are nice." I got in my first dig. "Especially my next door neighbors - I'm in really solid with them. Rick's a great guy, huh?"
I'll give him one thing, he didn't rattle easily. "You say so. And Popuri..."
I interrupted, "Ah, isn't she a sweetie? Amazingly pretty girl. You know, her and I have become real close friends since I got here." I put a hard spin on the 'real close' and the twitch on his face showed he copied me. But again, he just went on ahead.
"Heh, her making friends with a farmer - who'd have thought it. Well, you know I run the snack stand down at the beach. You ever get beat on the back forty and get the munchies, just come on down and chill out with us."
"Don't have much time for recreation..." I waved at the still uncleared wilderness "...kinda have my hands full right now. But if I ever need a little beachside R and R I'll check your place out. Now, if you'll pardon me..."
"Sure thing, farmer dude. Catch you later." and he headed back into town.
Well, this fellow was on my mind the rest of the day and when Popuri and I got together that evening, I decided to double check her attitude towards him.
"Pi, you know what happened today? Kai came into Erehwon and introduced himself to me. Did you know he was in town?"
She made a face. "I heard he was but I haven't seen him - I'm not going to, either. Dumping me like that...to hell with him! But why did he come and talk to you?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Your name came up, you know..."
"And you're worried that I might go back to him, right?" She started cooing to me. "Jack, you're the only man for me. I'd never leave you for anyone else - especially that jerk. You know how much I love you, right?"
"Yeah...I'm glad to hear that. I was just a little bit concerned."
"Don't be," and she gave me that look. "How could I leave you, lover? You're real considerate and attentive and you know just what I like. And you know what I'd like right now?"
I reached for her. "Let's see if I can figure it out." And I didn't think of Kai for the rest of the evening.
So, as I swung into early summer, most of my negativity about the village and the farm had dissipated. I was getting confidant about being able to get Erehwon up and running and was looking forwards to the big money rolling in next year. The social life was OK too. Some people liked me, a few didn't and the rest politely tolerated me. Realistically, what more could I expect? And the good times with Popuri just didn't stop. Despite myself, I was getting kind of sweet on her - temper tantrums aside, she did mainly show a nice, if childish disposition.
All in all, a pretty good life for a 23 year old boy, eh? Well, I should have known that such a life couldn't go on forever. Mineral Village was just about to shake me up yet again - good and hard.
It was a pretty hot day - Summer 4 - and I was sweating out real good tending what were starting to look like some truly awesome rows of corn. Some of it I intended to ship and the rest would go to feed my growing flock of laying hens, and between the work and me counting up the money in my mind, it was late morning before I noticed something odd. Popuri had not shown up as was her early morning habit. We hadn't had any kind of quarrel the night before, so I was wondering if she'd gotten sick or something. About eleven, I was fixing to head over to Lil's and check on her when she did come in the town side gate.
The look on her face had me immediately dropping everything and running over to her - she wasn't just miffed about something or another, she looked genuinely and deeply troubled.
"Pi, what's wrong? What's happened?"
She stared at the ground while speaking. "I haven't been feeling well the last few mornings. Today, it was bad enough so that I went to the clinic."
That hit me hard in the gut. A healthy young woman feeling sick every morning - that added up to... But I played it straight and asked her, "Are you sick then? What did the Doctor say?"
Then she did look up at me with a frightened expression. "No, I'm not sick. Jack, I'm pregnant. What am I going to do?"
Meaning, of course, what was I going to do. Actually, the problem was pretty simple. There were only a few options and I ran over them in my mind real quick.
First option - get rid of it. I dismissed that as soon as I thought of it. The idea of killing a baby - my baby - disgusted me. And anyhow, there was no way of doing it here. Doctor and Elli, loving infants as they did, would surely have nothing to do with such a thing. The idea was a non-starter.
Second option - run for the hills...or rather the mainland. I immediately saw the impracticality of that. I was here, after all, because the hard times were roaring out in the world and I couldn't see anything but slow starvation for me there. Another no-go.
Third option - ignore it. Acknowledge paternity and pay support, but otherwise have nothing to do with the situation. The absurdity of that was plain - I might get away with it in a city, but here? With her and our child next door and the villagers all regarding me as the biggest louse that ever disgraced their town? Maybe Karen was right and they wouldn't give me the boot as long as I worked the farm well. But that would be pushing their limits pretty damn hard. Forget about it.
Which left option number four. The only one left standing and no way out for yours truly. Well, I'd had to take a bunch of stuff in my life before, and I took it all like a man - so I supposed that here was one more test for me. I mentally sucked in my gut and went ahead.
"Um...Pi...I think I should go talk to your mother about this. Would you like to come with me, or would you rather wait for me here?"
Her face mixed hope and fear. "I don't know if I could face her right now. I think I'd like to wait here."
"OK, just make yourself comfortable and I'll be back as soon as I can." I whistled for Wowser to come, and I scooped him up and handed him to Popuri when he did. "Here, let this little fella keep you company while I'm gone. Pi, don't worry. I'm not going to leave you in the lurch."
She sat down under the apple tree, hugging the puppy. "All right, Jack. Please don't be too long, OK?" She was baby talking to Wowser as I left.
I let myself in Chicken Lil's and was grateful to see that Lillia was up and around and that Rick was nowhere to be seen. Lillia greeted me warmly, saying that she was actually feeling well enough to do a little housework. I was thankful that she didn't have to take the coming shock while sickly, and decided to just go ahead and get it over with.
"Lillia, I have something important to discuss with you. Perhaps you should sit down." Her face was a study as she did so. I took a deep breath and went ahead. "Lillia, your daughter is carrying my child..." and she put her hand over her mouth in shock, "...and I came to ask your permission to marry her" and the relief on her face was almost comical.
"Jack...I...you...how long have you known?"
"We just found out today."
She was pretty fluttery. "I never would have thought...I had no idea you two...but, of course you have my permission. Of course!
"You and her have done wrong, certainly - but you're willing to take responsibility for it, so I suppose there is pardon for you there."
She was settling down a little and actually smiled at me. "You know that I've been hoping for awhile that you two would eventually marry. It's just that I would have preferred a different occasion for it! Jack, where is she?"
"She's waiting at my farm right now. I think she was a little scared of how you'd react. Even more of how Rick'd react."
"Yes, I'll have to break this news to him carefully. Jack, please excuse my shock. I am happy to have you in my family." She actually giggled a little. "I'm going to be a grandmother! I think I like it. Perhaps you should be off now - I'm sure you want to get back to her. Please, the two of you come here together later, all right? You reassure her that I'm accept it and I'm not angry."
She stood and we hugged each other - a mother and son soon to be - and I started feeling more relaxed about the whole thing. Then I was out the door and on to my next stop.
It was the typical midday scene at the General Store - Jeff relaxing behind the counter (as much as he ever did relax) and Karen puttering around with the goods on display on the tables. She didn't pay me much mind until I told her father, "Hey Jeff, I'm in need of something special today. You have any blue feathers in stock?"
He got as far as "Hey, hey, hey! That's pretty fast work..." when Karen bounded over with a shocked look on her face, told her father, "Dad, hold off on that for a bit, OK?" and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the store to our old meeting place by the mailbox.
Her nails were digging into my flesh as she started in, "Jack, talk to me! This isn't for Popuri, is it?"
"Who else?"
She looked as serious as cancer. "Jack, having an affair with her is one thing - but marrying her? It would be a terrible mistake. Please, go home and think this over."
"There's nothing to think over. I don't have a choice."
And her face just fell in. "Oh God, Jack no. You mean you didn't take any precautions..."
"It doesn't matter now. Nothing else to do. Just let me go get my feather and..."
"No, Jack, listen! You do have a choice."
"What are you talking about..."
She got a wild look on her face. "I'll tell you what you can do. Go back to Popuri, and tell her whatever you have to to hold her through the day. Then, come five 'o clock, be on the docks, board the Princess and leave this place forever!"
"Karen, that's..."
"Of course, you can never come back here again, but I don't think you want to. Don't worry about Popuri. Even here, unwed mothers are not completely unknown. She and your child will be cared for. After all, they'll put all the blame on you - city boy deceives her and then abandons her. She'll get a lot of sympathy.
"Go somewhere far away - and when you get settled in, send me a discreet letter telling me where you are. I'll tell Mary, and then I just know she'll come to you. You two can finally be together as you are meant to be - away from this place!"
"Karen...that's insane. Just abandoning her and my child like that. That's crazy talk."
Her eyes did have some of the madness I'd seen in Mary's. "Yes, it's insane! Everything about this life is crazy. But Jack, you can save yourself from it still - and save her also. Jack, I just know you and her would have a wonderful life together. What do you say?"
"Karen, assume I did all that. Assume that I can find a life out there and not starve in the streets. Assume that Mary and I did get together out in the world. How long do you think it would last? Look at the conditions under which we would have started. Once the initial thrill was over, you don't think she'd start wondering if I'd do the same to her? How long before she started thinking of me as the rat that I would actually be? I'm quite sure that in a year she'd be regarding me with nothing but contempt and disgust.
"No, there's nothing there. Everything I've done with her was of my own free choice, and now I have to pay for it. And anyhow, who's to say that it would be a bad marriage? She can be nice and sweet - and she's certainly very domestic..."
She interrupted, "Because she doesn't have a choice. You know damn well she wants to leave here and travel. And you seem happy enough to stay on the family farm. There are the seeds of trouble right there."
"I bet that'll change when the child comes. She seems the maternal type to me - she'll get all wrapped up in the baby and forget her wanderlust." Strange, but once again arguing with Karen was setting my mind towards a decision for Popuri. "And you know, the idea of having a child appeals to me. Maybe this is all a good thing after all - when would I have decided to do something like this on my own? Well, the decision is made for me! It's what I'm going to do."
"And what is Mary going to do?"
"For Pete's sake, Karen! That's not my responsibility. She can do whatever she wants. What I want to do now is go back inside, get my feather and go give it to my bride to be." I turned away from her and started back in the store. "Now if you will excuse me."
She just stood there saying, "You're making a terrible mistake, Jack" as I left her behind, her face desolate.
Popuri was still sitting where I had left her - in the shade of the apple tree, absent-mindedly talking to Wowser while fear and uncertainty distorted her face. I didn't want to see her beautiful features disturbed for a moment longer. I took her hand and helped her to her feet, and with my other, brought out the blue feather and presented it to her.
"Pi, will you be my wife? Be the mother of our child? I'll always love you and be with you. Please stay with me and share my life."
The relief on her face made her the loveliest girl in the world. She took the feather from my hand while saying, "Jack, of course I'll marry you! I was so scared you wouldn't want me and our baby! I'll be the best wife and mother that ever was, I promise."
So for the next few minutes, we held each other under the apple blossoms, giving each other our promises for a bright future together.
A little later on, a bubbly, ecstatic Popuri and myself went back to her home and officially announced our engagement. Lillia was as accepting as she had promised and warmly welcomed me into her family - with some difficulty as Popuri was talking nonstop and kept trying to hug all of us at the same time. Rick looked as if he didn't know how he felt about the whole thing, but finally swallowed his reservations, came up to me and offered his hand with a hearty, "put it there, brother!" He did, however, have to lead me off away from the women and have his Rickish say.
"You just better go through with this thing, Jack. Backing out would have...uh...consequences."
"It's a done deal, Rick. I'm actually looking forward to it."
"Well, that's all right, then," and started to look pleased. "One good thing about this - that damned Kai is out of the picture now, I don't have to worry about her running off with him. She'll just be next door at your place - I can visit her anytime I want!"
So the four of us headed into town together and asked a surprised and pleased Pastor Carter if he would do the ceremony. I found out that traditionally, engagements were one week long in the village, so we set the date for the 11th, then headed back to Chicken Lil's for a celebratory dinner together.
The whole thing had moved so fast that it wasn't until I got home and tried to sleep that the question of living arraignments had presented itself to my mind. My little shack was barely large enough for me alone and I couldn't imagine sharing it with Popuri - no kitchen, no place for a baby, nothing. After mulling over some really ridiculous plans, I finally resigned myself to the idea of her staying for a while at her folks place while I busted my butt putting away enough money and lumber for a new house.
The next morning however, I got another example of how much most of the townspeople wanted me staying on and working Erehwon. Mayor Thomas, Doug and Gotz showed up on my doorstep and after congratulating me, got down to business. A bunch of people had gotten together and were going to front the money and supplies for a new house for us! No interest and no fixed repayment date! Well, I was profuse in my thanks and then we all sat down together and Gotz showed me his plans. I had no problems with what he proposed, so we all shook on it and he got right to work.
The wedding planning was...interesting. I was a little antsy about the invitations - Mary's family specifically. I could see that either inviting them or not could be taken as insulting and I was going back and forth in my head until I told the problem to Popuri. She just laughed and informed me that formal wedding invitations weren't made in the village. "Everyone knows where and when weddings are, so people come or not as they please."
Most everything else fell into place naturally. Who else but Cliff would be my best man? He was genuinely happy for me, opining that I was the marrying type and didn't have the personality for catting around. Who else but Ann would be the bridesmaid? She outdid herself in energetically organizing the details of the ceremony and the reception at the Inn afterwards, and she had everyone so busy with executing her plans that it got so I almost had to make appointments with her to see Popuri the last few days before the wedding.
It was natural that Elli would want to be one of the flower ladies, but I was quite surprised when Karen offered to sing at the ceremony.
"Glad to have you of course but I thought you didn't approve of this marriage."
She pursed her lips. "That doesn't matter to anyone, does it? Anyway, this is going to be the social event of the year and there's no way I'm going to miss being a part of it. Besides, Mary's not going to be there, so someone has to represent her."
While all this was going on, I was still putting in full days of farm work - in fact, more so than before since Popuri was too engrossed with planning for the ceremony for us to have much time to be alone together. I slept poorly. The first night after Gotz started construction, I didn't sleep a wink amidst piles of building materials, torn out floors and half-built walls leaning at vertigo inducing angles. After that I gave it up, took my bedding out to the ramshackle livestock barn and slept amidst the dust, moldy hay and spider webs. I slept poorly there also - I was plagued with tense and confused dreams involving women in green, blue and pink lamenting their blasted hopes and shattered lives and blaming me for it all. Since in my waking moments I was increasingly looking forward to the wedding, I dismissed the dreams as just the concentrated subconscious expression of whatever reservations I still had.
A further uneasy moment I had was the afternoon before the wedding when Ann slapped her head, called herself a retard and sheepishly admitted that she had been so wrapped up in planning the women's gowns that she hadn't thought a bit about what I would wear. Neither had I. She and Popuri almost throttled me when I half-jokingly said I'd just show up in my work overalls, then Ann remembered the charcoal-black suit Thomas had lent me for grandfather's funeral. A fast run to his house and a brief discussion of the problem resulted in my having its use again. If I was briefly uneasy remembering the last occasion I'd worn it, I shrugged it off. I've never been superstitious.
Another sour note the day before the ceremony was when I went to hire the harvest sprites to take care of the farm the next day. Those guys (if that's what you called them) made me uneasy from the first time Pastor Carter had introduced me to them. They were just too close to the old myths of elemental spirits for my liking, and even if I went along with the villagers in tolerating them, it didn't mean I had to like them. The feeling was mutual, apparently. They took my flour and agreed to work the next day all right, but they didn't bother to put on happy faces about it. The one dressed in purple - Bold, I believe his name was - spoke for them.
"She doesn't approve of what you're doing, budum. She says you fouled up big time and that it's going to destroy the village."
He clammed up when I asked him who 'she' was, and I left them dismissing his talk as just more of the creepiness of the village. Dad had always said that there were unhealthy influences there that he was glad to leave behind him. Well, different people are different and I supposed I was less fastidious than he'd been about putting up with weirdness.
The evening before my wedding, the single guys threw what passed for a bachelor party for me at the Inn. Being Mineral Village, there were no dirty videos or exotic dancers or anything like that - but there was booze in abundance and the whole bunch of us got well and truly trashed together. With Rick sitting there alongside us, we couldn't get raunchy about his sister so we confined ourselves to stupid cracks about 'balls and chains' and speculations about who was going to be next. Only sour note was when Grey started expressing (what he thought was) sympathy towards me for, as he put it, 'getting stuck with the dizziest broad I've ever seen.' I was annoyed, but Rick was really ticked off and I thought those two were going to start swinging at each other again. It took Cliff's best 'be cool and have another drink, guys' efforts to keep the Battle of the Goddess Festival from breaking out all over again.
About midnight, we broke up and I staggered home to spend my last night of bachelorhood in my new house - Gotz had finished up late that morning and headed home while waving the two bottles of wine I tipped him with and shouting, "you're gonna love it - trust me!" Place was pretty impressive, all right. The kitchen and dining room were really spacious and clearly built for a large family and some serious entertaining. I just loved the huge refrigerator/freezer and storage locker, figuring I'd get them stocked up with fresh produce in no time, and then kiss those preserved rice-balls goodbye forever. I had some reservations about the bedroom however. Gotz's color scheme of pink on pink had me shaking my head - it was like living inside Popuri's hair. And I had to wonder what he'd been thinking by putting in two single beds! Flopping into one, I resolved to bolt them together sometime when I wasn't so wasted.
The day of my wedding started fast and didn't slow down. Once I realized that the pounding that woke me up was from the door rather than my head, I let Cliff in. He had a passable suit draped over his arm, 'thrift store special' and we took our time getting dressed and groomed, 'best to avoid sudden motions after getting blitzed like that, Romeo.' He got me loosened up and laughing with a string of really nasty wedding night jokes that he'd not dared to get off within earshot of Rick, then we were off to the chapel to keep my eleven hundred hours appointment with fate.
We hadn't had a rehearsal, so I didn't know that the bride and her attendants prepped in the church - Ann intercepted me as I opened the door and nearly blew out my eardrums telling me to park it outside because there was no way I was going to see Popuri until launch time. Came the stroke of eleven, Pastor Carter appeared in the door and waved us in, and we were off.
Cliff and I took our position at the end of the aisle and looked over the crowd looking back at us - about three quarters of the village were seated in the pews. A bustle of activity from a side door caught our attention and we turned in time to see Rick and Lillia leading in a radiant Popuri.
I'd always thought that she was the most stunning girl who'd ever let me get within arm's length of her without slapping me silly - but seeing her in that flowing white gown and veil, her face just glowing with anticipation - oh man! Just for a bit there, I panicked at the thought of tying the knot with someone that gorgeous and I had the wild urge to bolt and run for the woods. That passed as they came up to me - Popuri bussed her mother and brother on the cheek, Rick executed the hand-off with a whispered 'She's all yours now - good luck!' and we did the trek up the aisle together towards a waiting Pastor Carter.
How many grooms actually pay careful attention to the ceremonial language? I mean, the words are pretty much the same everywhere and we all know their exact meaning. The two of you together - and nobody else - for life. Promising the same before God and a whole lot of people who are going to hold you to it. All familiar and standard issue, so I kind of let my mind wander back to how I'd gotten here.
There were memories of a lovely country girl, crying her eyes out by a pond over a dead chicken and pouring out her childish grief to me, a total stranger. Memories of how she'd grabbed on to me and arranged our first date at the Goddess Festival before I'd realized what was happening. Memories of my doubts and uncertainties leading up to the festival; produced by what I now saw was a misguided attachment to Mary. The chaos of the festival itself, and our (on my part) alcohol driven coupling afterwards. Memories of how our relationship had started as, well, frankly each of us using the other for pleasure. And then how we'd grown fond of each other despite ourselves.
But it had still taken a child - our love child - to bring us to this place. I marveled how easily I'd accepted what was after all a forced marriage. But I understood now - I actually wanted this baby like I'd wanted few things before in my life. With the passing of my parents and grandfather, I had stood alone in the world - the last of my line, with no one left behind me. I couldn't do anything about that, but now there would be one - and hopefully more - in front of me.
Looking back on it all - and ahead at what was to come - I realized I was completely happy to be here, about to be joined in matrimony to the soon to be mother of my child. I smiled to myself - this beautiful pink-haired witch had stolen my heart clean away...Huh? Oh, yeah...
"I do."
My wife and I got a round of good-natured applause as we exchanged our first married kiss, then we went back down the aisle together to the swing of Karen's truly awesome singing. I'd had a paranoid flash that she'd try to sour things with an inappropriate song selection, but she'd played it straight by choosing Ideal Devotion (a romantic standard of the late 2010's, for those of you too young to remember.) Everyone followed us out of the church and it was a real hurly-burly of congratulations standing out there with people pumping my hand and kissing Popuri until Ann's shouted question, "Is anyone hungry? Thirsty?" got us all moving to the next stop.
If you ever want to get married in Mineral Village, you'd better be all right with leading a procession because that's how you move from event to event - you and your bride leading the way and all the well wishers following close behind talking up a blue streak. Our trek was a short one - to the Inn, where tables groaning with just about every dish Doug and Ann knew how to make were waiting for us. Well, I've always held that free food tastes best and Popuri seemed to agree as we both piled our plates high and sat down to enjoy a world-class feast - with some difficulty as of course we were constantly being interrupted with people coming up to us to chat.
There was also an open bar, and if I refrained from indulging out of consideration to Popuri (and also that I'd had plenty enough the night before,) it didn't stop just about everyone else from getting well lubricated. Popuri and I did join in the traditional wedding toast - Duke came up and carefully filled our glasses from a bottle he was cradling, "From me and Manna to you - Aja wine - among the world's best!" Perhaps, but after the toast, Ann came up, sniffed our glasses and grumped, "Hmph! An off-year vintage, now why am I not surprised!"
The celebration was leisurely - eating, drinking and dancing took up the whole afternoon and yes, we even did the conga line thing. Elli fielded the tossed bouquet like a pro and then everyone roared with laughter at Doctor's expression when I neatly rang his hand with Popuri's garter. But of course, not all was sweetness and light. Karen quickly got three sheets to the wind and stayed that way the whole afternoon. It didn't stop her from pulling me out of my chair and skillfully leading us through a dance, but it did loosen her tongue.
"Well Jack, you've made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. Just don't come crying to me when things start going badly!"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
The other incident that could have caused a general blowout but didn't was when Mary came in the door about three-thirty wearing that forced blank expression of hers. Karen wobbled right over to her and tried to act as her protector.
"Mary, you really shouldn't be here. Go on home and I'll come see you later."
"It's all right, Karen. I'm not going to cause a fuss. I just had to see it with my own eyes."
But she didn't really need protection. She walked right over to where Popuri and I were seated, gave us a thin smile and spoke in a deliberate voice.
"Jack, Popuri - congratulations. I hope the two of you are happy together, and I really mean that," and she turned around and went out again without waiting for us to say anything.
The party continued until twilight, when people started shouting, more or less ribaldly, that we still had a lot ahead of us and should be getting home. Once again, we led the procession through Rose Square and up farm row to the gates of Erehwon. We all waved goodnight to each other, then I picked up Popuri and carried her through the door of our new home.
She just loved the house. The long day hadn't drained her of energy - she was bubbling and bouncing around examining everything and already planning out the whole season's dinner parties for her folks and Ann and Cliff. Well, we soon enough made our way into the bedroom. Surprise - she thought Gotz's pink paint and wallpaper were just fine and dandy, and she gravitated right to her vanity table; even if she didn't use make-up, she was devoted to the hundred strokes with the hairbrush thing every morning and evening.
Well, after she'd satisfied herself about her new home, we kind of found ourselves in each other's arms doing the newlywed promises bit.
"Jack, I know I'm often thoughtless and selfish, and I'm sorry. I'm going to change, really I am. I'm going to make you the best wife that ever was."
"I know you are. You know, I'm kind of regretful over the rough start we had. I was, well, using you for awhile there and I'm sorry."
"Don't worry yourself over it, all that's behind us. This is our new beginning. But there is one thing I regret about all that. Now, our wedding night isn't as special as it could have been."
"Ah, I beg to differ there." I gave her that look. "We're about to try something new for us."
She looked puzzled. "What's that?"
"We've never done it in bed before."
"That's right!" She returned my look. "Well, lover, what are we waiting for?"
"Not a damn thing," and I reached for the light.
