A Haven From the Storm
Chapter 13: Two Bad Heads are Worse than One
"Jack..." The lady's voice - coming from total blackness as it did the first time I heard her.
"Go away and leave me alone."
"You are at your nadir now. You can use my guidance in ascending."
"The only thing I need from you is for you to get out of my head. This is a 'glorious fulfillment?' I don't want to think about it anymore."
"You're totally immersed in it. Sooner or later you'll have to look at where you are in order to find yourself and your way forward."
"But not tonight. Please. I can't take much more. Let me dream of my folks at home, my old school, spaceships - anything but this place and these people! Please."
She sighed and I could sense her withdrawing. The darkness lifted and I was seven again. I was with my parents and little sister at Town Brook Park, having a picnic on a lazy late spring day.
Two year old Jill was just starting to get confident on her feet, and we were at our favorite game of her running after me as I weaved around just a little faster than her - stopping every now and then to let her catch me. She never seemed to tire of it.
Lying on the grass after lunch with Dad talking about his work. I didn't understand the details, but I did get that we would not have our usual summer vacation together.
"...but I think you'll like what I have planned for you. A whole summer on Grandpa's farm - just you and him. Now how's that strike you?"
"Will he teach me how to ride the horse?"
"I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
Then I woke up in the hot springs. It was bright early morning, maybe seven, judging from the sun. Whatever the benefits of the spring water, it was not a specific for drunkenness. My body felt poisoned, my head pounding. Then there was that voice.
"Jack? Jack? Are you up here? Jack?"
Popuri. I cringed and thought about ducking under the water until she left. But...I had to deal with her sometime. Might as well just get it over with.
"I'm in here." Ugh! Even to myself, my voice sounded weak and shaky.
"Oh, there you are. You don't sound too good. Are you alright?"
"I guess. Apart from these gnomes beating on my head with hammers."
"The Harvest Sprites are in there with you?"
"Just a joke! Not a very good one, but it's the best you're going to get this morning."
"Jack, please don't be cranky with me. And I feel funny talking to you through that wall. Are you coming out soon?"
"Why don't you come in and join me?"
"Jack! I haven't been searching for you for the last hour just to hear you talk naughty."
"All right, all right, all right. I'm giving up on the humor for this morning. Give me a minute to dry off and dress, OK?"
It was more like five minutes when I emerged from the springs. Popuri came up to me and kissed me on the cheek.
"Jack, you don't look too good, either. Are you sick?"
"Hung over something fierce. You didn't notice how drunk I was yesterday evening?"
"I tasted it on you, but I didn't want to say anything. You mean last night...on the beach...that was just the effect of liquor?" She looked sad. "That's not very flattering to a girl."
"Well...you are very beautiful." She brightened a little. "But, I just don't know. I feel things are moving too fast. We've only known each other for a week."
"Sometimes a week can be a very long time, Jack. Enough time to change a life forever."
I didn't like the sound of that at all. Not the kind of thing you hear the morning after a casual date. "I suppose. But how are you? Are you all right now?"
"Better, thanks. But I still don't know why Mary was so mean to me."
"She was very drunk also. We all were."
"But even then. Why would she be so angry with me?"
I didn't feel like dissimulating anymore. "You see, she's got a very bad crush on me."
"Oh! Then...of course. She thought I was taunting her with you. But I didn't mean to do that, I was just chatting with her."
She wasn't stupid.
"But, how do you know she feels for you? Has she told you?"
"No, but I just know.
"And you...what do you..."
"What do I feel for her? I like her a lot - as a friend. Of course, since you and I...well, she doesn't want to have anything to do with me now. I regret that." I couldn't help my bitter tone. "All I wanted towards anyone here was to be their friend. I didn't come here looking for a girlfriend. Hell, I didn't even come here looking to farm! All I came here for was to bury my grandfather. Everything else that's happened since hasn't been under my control. It's all going too fast for me."
"Yes, so much happens in life that we have no control over - like our feelings for each other. Just what do you feel for me, anyways?"
And there was the same problem I've had for days. Tell her the truth and get another chance with Mary - but also chance breaking her heart and making enemies of her family. Tell her sweet little lies and stay stuck with her. And waffling solves nothing, but causes the least damage. I decided to waffle some more.
"I think you're the most beautiful girl I've even known. You're nice and sweet and cheerful - usually. But we're going too fast. Last night on the beach, we almost lost our heads. That scares me. You know what kind of trouble that could make, and I don't want that for you. I don't know where this is going; it's much too soon to say. The festival is behind us now. We're neighbors, we're going to see each other every day. Let's just see what happens with us without forcing anything.
"There's so much I don't know about you. I don't even know what you expect out of life. What do you want for yourself, anyways?"
"Me? I...I want to get out of here! This whole thing with Pa and Ma and Rick is too much for me. And even if they were all right - I'd still like to leave. I could, you know. I'm 21, who could stop me? This village is all I've known for my whole life, and I'm tired of it. I want to go places, see things! Farming is so boring to me."
I then saw that I finally had something to work with. "Really? I've got to admit, I'd never seen myself as a farmer until this week, but you know...I think it's starting to grow on me a little. It's peaceful. No bosses - I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. And the physical labor is relieving my stress. Yes, I think I'm liking farming more and more each day."
She looked puzzled. "You are? After living and working in the city? What was it like where you were, anyways?" Her voice got low and excited. "You know, from what I hear, Liberty City has to be one of the most wicked places in the world. But I imagine it can get pretty thrilling also. What kinds of things did you do there?"
"I worked and slept; that's the simple truth of it. Twelve, fourteen-hour days were routine for all of us. All I saw of that city was my job and my apartment and the road between them. Oh yeah, some of us would unwind at this 24-hour diner after a late night in the labs. They'd sell us a beer or two with our food even though they didn't have a license. That's about as wild as I got. And speaking of work, I'm running late today. Please allow me to walk you home."
Popuri made a disapproving face as we started walking down the hill. "That's all you did in the city...what a waste!"
"Well, to each their own, huh? Oh! Not to change the topic or anything, but how does Rick feel about Karen today?"
"It doesn't look too good for Karen. He was happy this morning. He said he's been getting tired of her ways for some time and he's glad he's got a reason to end it." She looked thoughtful. "Both me and him getting hit on the same evening. And for the same reason - love! Is that what it brings? You have to wonder if Ann is right when she says it's nothing but trouble." Then she turned around and gave me a giggly hug. "But not for us, Jack!"
Ah well, she'd been doing so well for a moment there. She let go of me and we walked on into the farm. The first chore of the day presented itself as we passed the chicken house.
"Let me duck into the chicken house for a moment to check on your egg."
"Can I come too? I want to see how it's doing."
I nodded and we went in and up to the incubator. Before I could turn the egg over, Popuri picked it up and held it up to the light. "You see, Jack! It's growing - look at that darker area, that's the body developing." She showed me; then placed the egg back on the straw, kissing it and cooing words of encouragement. I could only shake my head in wonder, until the dizziness it brought on convinced me it was an ill-advised move.
"It's got three more days, right? Ah, I know I've got to get going on the chores, but I really think I should talk to Rick. Is he home now?"
"Yes, he didn't go into town like he usually does. I suppose he's avoiding Karen."
So we left the chicken house and walked on to Chicken Lil's. Popuri guessed that Rick was in their chicken house; she blew me a kiss and went into the house.
The chicken house was...well, spacious. In fact, it was roomier than my house was. The hundreds of chickens I had seen earlier were milling around, and Rick was inspecting the brooding hens sitting on their clutches of eggs. I greeted him and went over to where he was.
"Pretty impressive setup here. These are sure healthy looking chickens."
"Our family's been building this up for generations. We usually have several people working to keep things running smoothly, but with Dad gone, Mom sick, and Popuri useless for anything serious, I've got to do it all myself. I've got a bunch of improvements I'd like to do, but it's all I can do to maintain what we have now.
"But I shouldn't complain, you've got it worse over there. You've got to start almost from scratch, and with no experience. How are you standing up to it all?"
"Just taking it a piece at a time, trying to get some order into it. At least I've got three years."
He frowned. "Three years isn't long enough! I told them you needed four, but three was the decision. What a wasteland Erehwon turned into over the winter! Well, they always said the Goddess would take that land back with a vengeance some day."
There was an opportunity to collect more of the tales of my family. "Rick, I keep hearing bits and pieces about this Goddess and my family, but I don't have a clear picture of what it's all about. What do you know of it?"
"Old legends, Jack, very old legends. Long ago, when the founder of the village - your many times great grandfather - came here, all this land was hers alone. Somehow, he got her to let him and those he brought here live on it, as long as they didn't abuse it. But it's still hers - if nobody is using it anymore, she takes it back. I guess you got here just in time."
I suppressed my skepticism and went on. "But just who or what is she? Where is she? Does anyone see her?"
He shrugged. "I just know the stories I've heard...and that your land is the best in the county because she blesses it. If anyone sees her, it's just your family, and none of them ever tell."
"My Dad never told me a thing about it; first I heard was when I got here. Lots of things are new to me since I got here. Changing the subject a little, are your festivals usually as rambunctious as last night?"
Rick looked angry. "Oh man, get me started on that, will you? That was some bad craziness. I heard that it was that bum Cliff who started it all, passing around booze. Stupid! Getting Mary drunk, of all people!" His loud voice startled some chickens, who squawked as they ran from us. "I mean, I've never even heard her raise her voice and there she was, loaded up and beating on my sister! And that slug Gray saying it was all Popuri's fault. I know you meant well separating us, but you should have stood back and let me pound some sense into that boy's head. I see either of them again, I'm going to pick up where I left off!
"But I appreciate you taking care of Popuri afterwards. I was worried that she'd be all wild but she was almost calm when she got home. You're good for her. I'm glad you became her friend; you seem to understand her well. Better than I understand Karen these days."
What an opening - thank you, Rick. "Um, not to be intruding on your affairs, but I heard that you and Karen had a little trouble last night."
He gave me a really false looking smile. "No trouble, we just parted ways, that's all. She had her nose into Cliff's booze also, and started in on me just because I was dancing with Elli. Where does she get off anyways! As if she wasn't dancing with every guy there; but let me get in one dance with someone not old enough to be my mother and she goes into a screaming fit about it.
"I'm glad it happened, I really am. I've been getting fed up with her ways for some time now. I mean, I like to take a drink after work to relax, but she doesn't know when to stop. She gets all sloppy and starts whining about us getting married. Doesn't she understand how hard life is for us right now? Well, I've had enough of her after yesterday. She can pass out in the Inn every night now for all I care!"
"Rick, you don't really mean all that, do you? She seems like a really fine person to me. You two go back a long ways, I've heard. You don't really want to throw that away, do you?"
"Maybe her and I were always a mistake, and it's time to correct it and move on. Well, that's not exactly true. When we were kids, we got along great. I just assumed she'd always be that fun, lively little girl. But she's changed lately, and I don't like it one little bit. You two are pals now, right? Well, you can tell her just what I've been telling you - word for word!"
"Rick, don't act in haste here."
"Haste? I've been thinking about ending it for several seasons now. She just gave me the excuse to do it. I don't need to have her dragging me down on top of everything else. Now I can concentrate on my folks and this farm in peace!"
I saw I wasn't going to get anywhere in helping Karen's case today. Best to give him time to calm down and try again later. I excused myself, pleading chores and we parted amiably.
Of course, the chores really did need doing, and I was three hours behind. There were more turnips to move from the ground to the bin, more seeds to plant, more patches to water. I wasn't just lying to Popuri, either. There was something satisfying about working the land at my own pace and under my own control. I stopped a minute to lean on my hoe and survey my surroundings. The lush vegetable leaves growing from the front rows suggested what the disordered land behind would look like in time. I was picturing row after row of healthy crops when a voice from the townside gate broke up my daydream.
"Jack, mind if I come in and talk to you?"
It was Karen. She also had that falsely happy smile that I was seeing too much of today.
"Sure, come on in. How are you feeling today?"
She came over to where I was standing. "Apart from this really wicked hangover? Fair to middling. You know, I haven't been here since...since you took over the farm. It sure looks wild back there, but at least you've made some kind of start. But why are you concentrating on turnips?"
"They bring in the best profit in the shortest time. I came here nearly broke, so I had to get the money flowing in quick. Still do - this place needs so many improvements. But I think you didn't come here to talk about crop yields. You want to know what Rick is thinking, right?"
She nodded, and I recounted my conversation with Rick, leaving out some of his rougher comments. She was clearly forcing herself to look calm and unconcerned. "Well, this isn't the first time we've had a breakup. This one is pretty spectacular, but I guess the solution is still the same. Just wait for him - and myself - to calm down and then pick it up again. Like you say all the time, 'nothing else to do.' "
"I sure intend to do something. I'm going to be selling you to that boy every day until he comes to his senses. I'm going to keep you posted on everything I see and hear from next door. Both of you are too good to go through something like this. How long have you two been together, anyways?"
"Oh gosh, I have to count? Call it eighteen years, give or take a few. We were best playmates when we were little, teen heartthrobs, pre-engaged couple in our twenties - you name it, we've been through it." She sighed. "When is this nonsense going to end? We've been single long enough; it's time to make a life together.
"Well, so much for my little problem. I've got news for you. I've just come from the library and Mary is finally starting to open up about you. You still interested?"
"Please, don't tease me about that!"
"Not teasing, I'm serious. I mean after last night, I'm not sure where your interest is anymore. You saw a different side of Mary then and I don't know what you think about it. I didn't suspect she had it in her either. She's really got no business drinking in public if she's going to blow out like that. And not to dwell on the matter, but the way you and Popuri were carrying on at the beach..."
"That was totally an effect of drunkenness."
"So you're not changing your mind about her, then?"
"Negative. Our parting close company is still something I look forwards to. I may have made a wee bit of progress on that." I told her about my talking up the virtues of farming to Popuri, and her less than enthusiastic reaction. Karen started smiling as I told the tale.
"Well, you're finally doing something to discourage her. It's not exactly a secret that she's had enough of country life and wants to try the big city scene. Not, of course, that she has any idea of what that is. I suspect she thinks it's like going to one of our festivals every night, only larger and just a little bit wilder."
"Your festival was wilder than anything I'd done in the city. Yes, she was all breathless wanting me to tell her about sin in the big bad city. Poor girl, I'm afraid I disappointed her. I made myself sound like the most boring stiff in the world." Karen started laughing and I joined her. "Which actually isn't too far from the truth. I was totally wrapped up in my work there."
"Jack, I didn't know you had it in you. You do know how to play with a girl's head some. I think I'm a little bit proud of you now. Ah, but there's one little matter. You don't have to talk about it if it's too delicate, but if I'm going to help you out, it'd be useful to know. You and her last night, did you, uh..."
"No. We didn't. We haven't. Although I'm not going to pretend to you that it wasn't close. If you had come on us thirty minutes later...well, let's say I owe you big time for rescuing us when you did."
"It's dangerous to acknowledge a debt to a woman. We have this little habit of never forgetting to collect on it. So we don't have that complication to worry about. Good. You want to hear about Mary?"
"I'm waiting with great impatience."
"I just dropped in on her at the library. She looks like death warmed over. She finally got some sleep last night, but at the cost of a very bad head today. Do I have to tell you that she's mortified at the way she acted? She and Popuri have never been close, but they've never had any problems before. I tried to ease her mind by promising to be a go-between for them. That shouldn't be a hard job - Popuri doesn't hold grudges. They'll apologize to each other and be back to cool and casual friendship in no time.
"All that chaos did have one useful effect; it shook her out of her funk. She's put her Aquarian thinking cap back on and was being reflective about you. She didn't call it 'love at first sight,' but that's sure what it sounded like to me. She admits that she had become obsessed with you from the time you first met. Starting with that long smoldering gaze you two exchanged when you first met."
"I thought it was shock. I'm afraid I scared her badly by coming up on her unexpectedly."
She smiled. "Yes, when she's concentrated on her writing, Zack could kick in the door and she wouldn't notice. Well, whatever you intended, everything you were doing was just right to get her madly infatuated with you. I mean, showing great interest in her writing and her father's books, and going out of your way to give her her favorite mountain vegetables...she thought you were courting her, and she liked it. Your going home and having dinner with her folks completed the picture for her. She thinks the world of her parents, and you were so friendly and respectful to them, they just fell for you also. After that, she was probably expecting the blue feather from you."
"What's that?"
"It's how a man proposes marriage to a woman here. He gives her a blue feather taken from this certain rare bird." She laughed, "We sell them at the store, if you ever need one."
"Not this week!" I frowned. "Not this year, in fact."
She smirked. "If you insist. You've had such a wild week, though, that who knows what the next one will bring."
"Please. You want to get back to Mary now?"
"I never left her. So...you can imagine how the world fell in on her when we girls all got together to talk about the festival and Popuri started gushing about how you were going after her. Mary's got a lot of self-control - at least she got home without making a scene, but she said that halfway through dinner she couldn't take it anymore and ran upstairs crying. She said she was hysterical for a while and scared her folks really bad thinking they'd have to have Doctor come and sedate her. Anna hates you now, you know."
"She made that very clear yesterday."
"Yes, she's the type who can cut you apart with a look and a word. So Mary had been dragging herself to the library every day, then going home and crying in bed all night. The festival was actually the shock treatment she needed. She was amazed with herself that she got drunk without thinking about it, but I'm not surprised. She needed to vent. Well, Popuri sure gave her the opportunity! We know she was just babbling on cluelessly, but Mary took it as mockery - 'I've got something you don't!' She says she literally saw red and smacked her before she knew what she was doing.
"Aside from being ashamed about acting out in public, something that's really got her worried is that she thinks you might hate her now for that. She thinks you love Popuri, after all, and is anxious that you may be angry with her for humiliating Popuri in public."
"Well, you can tell her I don't. Tell her I understand acting out under the influence all too well."
She laughed. "You sure do! Don't worry, I won't tell her about that. Although it is where her mind is now. Today, she was so regretful that she had misunderstood you. She said she thought that you were this oh so serious and sensitive man who had looked into her soul and loved it. But, she said, you turned out to be just another boy impressed mainly with a pretty face and a stunning figure. She was going on about how she couldn't compete with Popuri's physical charms - well, I couldn't either, for that matter. One thing that was really getting to her was imagining you and Popuri being lovers. I spent a lot of time convincing her it was out of character for the both of you. I'm glad to hear you didn't make a liar out of me there.
"Now, she's terribly conflicted about you. She still sort of loves you, but she's disillusioned about you. She now doesn't see you as that soulmate to be who understands her completely. She kept saying, 'I don't really know him at all.'"
I shook my head. "She'd gone that far in her mind? I really and truly had no idea. She's never had a boyfriend, has she?"
"No. You see now how she both lives in her head and feels very deeply about things? Between inexperience and having a head full of impossibly romantic literature, she's going to react strongly to a guy being sweet to her. Poor Jack! You've gotten run over by three difficult women since you got here."
"Whose the third?"
"Why, me of course. First getting a full dose of my Scorpio temper, then having to hold my hand as I sigh about Rick."
I waved my hand. "You're not a problem for me. You're one of my best pals here. And I'm going to go all out to get you and Rick fixed up."
"I believe you'll try. But it's still true; you have had a lot of trouble with people here. I wouldn't have thought it - I'd been guessing that everyone would just ignore you. Bet you wish they would!"
"Yeah, that's been getting to me. You know, I worked for three years with some really intense people in a high stress environment, and I didn't make as many enemies there as I have here in a week. I keep thinking that I'll never fit in here. Look at yesterday. OK, I wasn't the one passing out rotgut whiskey, but none of that trouble would have happened if I hadn't been here. You were right; I should leave the women alone and stick to farming. When I get shucked of Popuri, that's just what I'm going to do! Let Gray take Mary - she'll forget about me soon enough then."
"Oh, no. You see, you and Mary are right for each other. Gray...well, he's not as bad as I thought. I was impressed with how he was defending Mary. His grumpiness is just from his being depressed being here against his will doing things he doesn't like."
"Just like me. So why me rather than him?"
"You're different! Gray's OK, but there's really no chemistry between him and Mary, and there never will be. You and Mary are both really beautiful people - and so much alike in spirit."
I spoke ironically. "You're making me blush. But how are we so alike anyways? She's an otherworldly literary type, and I'm a flying machine monomaniac turned farmer. Air and earth, if you insist on the astrology - and they don't mix!"
She looked aggravated. "You're both air signs! Aw, don't ask me to put it into words, but I can feel you two are sympathetic souls."
I returned her aggravation with sarcasm. "I'm sure you're just as sensitive as all get out, and can read everyone's vibes perfectly. But maybe just this one time you're wrong!"
She started getting angry. "You're getting nasty with me?! You're going to be like that, I'll just get off your land and leave you alone with your damn turnips!"
I'd already found out that her temper was nothing to trifle with and decided to back off. "Karen, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that, but I didn't mean it."
She calmed down. "I know why. A bad head, just like mine." She grinned. "Two bad heads are worse than one."
I put my hand to my forehead. "Yeah, I had almost forgotten about that. I'm sure not used to it. I do hope you don't overdo it like that often."
"That was an exceptionally toxic bender. As bad as that time when I was seventeen and...but I promised myself I'd never tell that story to anyone!"
"Aw come on, bet it's a good one." She firmly shook her head no. "Well, I guess we're about caught up on our romantic problems unless you've got anything else. Look, don't take me serious when I get snappish. The last thing I want is to quarrel with you. You're about the only thing keeping me sane here." I stooped to pick up Wowser and show him to Karen. "You and this little charmer here."
"Hey...aren't you a cute doggie - and friendly too! Yeah, same with me and my temper. Let's stay best friends - Jack, I wasn't just talking when I said you're a wonderful person. I like you a lot. Funny, you've only been here a week, but you're already a part of village life to me. Friends forever...shake on in?"
"You got it." We smiled at each other and clasped hands.
"Karen, what time is it? Past three? I have to go to your store and get some more seeds. You going back there now?"
"I think not, I want to go up to the Goddess pond and be alone for awhile, clear my head some."
"Goddess pond?"
"That's what I call the pond next to the hot springs. When I was a kid, my head was full of fairy stories. I thought I'd see the Harvest Goddess there if I went there at the right time. I believed a lot of silly things then - like Rick and I would live happily ever after."
"Karen, don't be like that. We're going to get you two back together. Just be patient."
She made a face. "Nothing else to do, right?" We said goodbye and she walked on toward the hot springs as I went the opposite way towards town.
Fortunately, nobody was on the path as I ran through town to the General Store. I didn't want to hear anything else from anyone about that blasted festival. Jeff was friendly as always as I paid for my seeds, and again, I encountered no one on the run back to the farm.
I realized that I'd been neglecting some things that I'd started. The first was getting more lumber for the hen house expansion. I shouldered my axe and headed up to the hot springs. Physical exertion to work out the poison, I told myself as I energetically reduced several stumps to cords. When I got too tired to go on, another hour's nap in the hot springs brought me back.
It was twilight when I dried and dressed and headed towards the bamboo stands by the waterfall to fill my backpack with shoots. I was getting a distinctly odd feeling in that place. I turned around and looked at the waterfall and the pond. Something about the scene was spooking me out. Looking carefully, I just couldn't see anything unusual. True, the light of the setting sun glistened on the mist around the falls more than I thought it would have. And the small green fish in the pond seemed to watch and follow me as I moved about. I shook my head as I headed down the steps loaded with lumber - overactive imagination brought about by stress, no doubt.
Back on the farm, I looked in on the egg and gave it another turn, then headed to the shipping bin. Opening it, a pile of coins and a receipt from Zack greeted me. I counted them and broke out into a victory dance. Enough to get that large backpack! My foraging and harvesting would be a little easier starting the next day - another little bit of progress. I emptied the shoots into the bin and went inside the house.
The neglected journals and my calculations from same were still spread out on the table. The chopping and bathing had cleared my head some; perhaps some brainwork will help more. I lost myself in reckoning until midnight, when I decided to go to bed and get a decent night's sleep.
